Is that even a word? I heard that to be fearless about life is the only way to go.. I read that people have been living their lives in fear of something!
This past months, I’ve been working really hard to get out of my mind and live life more fearlessly.. I’ve been such a coward for life. Always afraid to tell it how it is. Always afraid to tell the truth. Always afraid of the unknown. I’ve been working really hard to get this out of my system: that fear, especially of the unknown!
This year has been difficult and also a great redirection of life for me. In the beginning of this year, I knew exactly where I wanted to be – fearfully so. I knew where I wanted to be and that scared the sh*t out of me LOL (Not my best moment). Covid has really brought out the worst and best of me. I love it. I love seeing and noticing the changes in my life – some heartbreaking and some really revolutionary.
I learned to embraced change. I learned to embrace the things that are not here as planned. I am learning to truly embrace life for exactly what it is. I’m starting to feel as sense of freedom. I now dress as I like, say things I wouldn’t normally say, say no when I want to and YES when I truly feel that it resonates with me. I learned to asked for help when I needed to – still fighting the urge not to. I learned to be gentle and kind to myself more especially when I feel that I said or did the wrong things.
These are all subtle changes. I thought I was fighting alone. As I continue on this journey, I started realizing that everyone is fighting this battle everyday. Many of us go through this thinking we are alone. We think we are the only one insecure about the way we look – even though we hear people all the time – complaining. We feel like no one understands or maybe it’s just not the same. I come to realize that it is all the same. We all have our own fears we are dealing with and in all reality they can all come together to be one true thing: We are fearful of something. We are not free. We are all locked in the idea of a perfect self and we all have different ideas of what a perfect self is. We feel we are unworthy – so we pretend that we are instead of truly feeling that we are.
This revelation, ambiguous as it may seem, helped me free myself from the hold or gripped I had for myself. I was so afraid to be me. I was so afraid to show the world exactly who I am that I created a different persona of me that is always working hard to be something – something close to perfect – when all I need to be is simply be me.
Do you resonate with my words in this blog? What makes you feel alive? What makes you feel free? Are you close to it – you think? What do you think of my thoughts? My ideas? Leave me a comment.
As always, thanks for visiting and reading my thoughts!